My Balancing Act

 Life is crazy and I have found myself walking a balance beam of sorts, trying to balance who I was, and who I am becoming while keeping things as normal as possible for my family. 
 I watched the Biggest Loser for several years and always thought the “breakdowns” with various participants was just a big act.  Now I am discovering (while breakdowns on the tele are rather dramatized) that breaking down while losing weight happens.
Things are not bad, not at all.  In fact, I have reached a HUGE milestone as I have now lost FIFTY pounds since May!  I have gone from a size 24 to a 16 using nothing but nutrition and exercise.  That is a huge deal!  But in the middle of celebrating this milestone I am also discovering emotions of embarrassment, fear, frustration and excitement.  I did not realize what a homebody I had become, nor how bad I felt. My days had become staying in and basically sleeping my days away. I actually cancelled attending a formal Christmas party this past year because I didn’t want to shop for a dress for my overweight body!  
{My self-esteem was down to nothing!}
The stresses of the last two weeks have really been a turning point.  School has started (along with swim season), Audley’s grandmother is fading away & he has been on the road working for the last four weeks, and I lost my cousin unexpectedly, but I’m not running to the refrigerator and retreating to bed for comfort.
First Day of School~ 2012
Instead, I have loaded the kids up for a day out, threw my emotions into cleaning, bailed to the gym, worked in the yard, finished my summer canning, and become one crazy swim mom!
Bradley’s first swim meet ~ I make Michael Phelps mom look calm!
It’s a whole new me!
And I think I like this new me, because I know that I didn’t like the old one.  The new me has a life to live!
So where do I go from here?  I still spend a lot of time in my kitchen, but it’s spent preparing healthy fare for my family.  I don’t dwell on it any more.  I’ve quit subscribing to food based magazines and websites.  I am dabbling in a little more DIY, landscaping and finally setting out to decorate our new home.
I’m changing.  
Blogging has been a wonderful outlet for me, so I want to continue.  It’s going to change though.  Not so much food, more travel, adventure and fun; more DIY, entertaining, and gardening!  
I also want to make a difference.  I want people who are going through the nightmare of being overweight to know there is a life worth living out there and I want to encourage everyone to just live!
Please, tell me. What do YOU want?!?  
What do you want to see posts about, and what do you want for yourself?  I want to know you!
**And for all of the messages, email and love you have shared during our loss the last week I cannot begin to say thank you enough. You have touched my heart deeply.
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9 thoughts on “My Balancing Act

  1. Oh I am always along for the ride wherever you may go. I have always enjoyed the recipes, tablescapes, and organization, but you go girl. Because it's your blog and who says it can't be about a million things. Mine certainly goes in gazillion directions often. Course I suppose it is settling down to the familiar by now.

  2. I agree with Vee…..do what makes you happy and blog about the moment otherwise it's not you. Does that make sense? Keep posting those low-fat recipes like the orange chicken and your trials and mistrials about adopting recipes to your new lifestyle. I have done that for years….some stuff was really good….and some stuff was bleck…… 🙂 xo

  3. Jennifer you are an inspiration! I am very proud of you.

    I have said it before, and will say it again. I write my blog for me. Write your blog for you and where you are in your life. After all a web log is supposed to be about you. If others read it (and they will as everyone loves honesty) that is just the cherry on top of a low cal cake. 🙂

  4. what a great post! I have allowed myself to get in to a rut of not exercising and not really taking great care of myself…..and even being in a funk sometimes emotionally. I need to keep reading your encouraging posts. I need to and hubby needs to get 50 pounds off our bodies and sadly I've just become content with where I'm at….ugghhh…not a good place to be.

  5. Pingback: The Biggest Loser… & Winner | Fiddle Dee Dee

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