Learning to Let Go

Happy New Year!

OK, yes, I know it is February.

Yes, I also know that I’ve posted very little the last two months.

And yes, I missed writing.

My focus was just elsewhere.

Life has a way of throwing chaos into our perfectly arranged schedules; car accidents, changes in college plans, early graduation, holiday travel, and this momma beginning a new full-time job….  If you follow me on social media, you’ve probably seen a glimpse of what’s happening in our life including many of the above mentioned things. While these little changes weren’t drastic, there is one more.

After five years here in South Carolina, we are moving.

While I have known this was a possibility for months (my Audley has been very unhappy with his job for about 8 months now), reality hit in December when after countless leads, interviews, glimmers of hope, disappointments and a flat-out “no”, what we were praying for  and least expected was offered to us.

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Honestly, it is not the ideal time with graduation, a wedding, and other big events in the near future, but apparently God felt it was the right time and it is actually a really good thing for us.  It’s also been good for my own spiritual life, something I really needed.

My prayer life has always been weak.  Growing up in a Christian home, I cannot begin to count the number of times I’ve been told to “just give it all to God”.  It sounds so simple, but my version of giving it to God has always been “here you go” and then proceed to tell Him how to do His job.  It’s so difficult to relinquish control.

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I guess we are all like that from time to time.  As a mother I think it’s only natural to fix things, but I couldn’t fix my husbands disappointments with work.  The one thing I could do is continue to support, encourage, and build him up as I have done for nearly twenty-two years now.  As Audley’s frustrations began to grow, our prayer life actually grew stronger with them, which is the opposite of how we normally deal with stresses in our lives.  We found ourselves praying together more, and for the first time in my life I found myself giving my stresses, anguish and questions to God and not telling Him what to do!  I didn’t want the mess anymore!

Let me tell you, it’s a liberating feeling to finally completely surrender control!

It’s funny when I look back on my youth and think of the things I prayed for: to make Georgia state honor band, an “A” on a test I didn’t study for, make the softball team, a later curfew, or to wear makeup like my girlfriends… These things were trivial, but I wasn’t afraid to pray for them.  As adults it’s easy to forget the trivial and think only the big things matter like sickness, protection, forgiveness.  Sometimes I feel like I’ve rehearsed a standard prayer and can’t deviate from it because that is what an adult would do!

Oh to have that childlike faith of saying whatever is on my mind again!

The crazy thing is, we can have it, we just have to humble ourselves like we did years ago!

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So those precious moments when my son prayed for a dog or to get a hit in a baseball game as a little boy and the time his 16-year-old self recently thanked God for “letting his dad live to be so old” (Audley is 45…) and to let his sister not kill him with her driving on the way to school are the same way we should be willing to open up and pray as adults!

After experiencing the results of letting God take control, it’s something I plan to continue pursuing.

So, where will move number 14 take us?

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We will be in the suburbs of Atlanta.  Two hours from MacKenzie when she marries in June, just under two hours from Madeline when she heads to Point University to play lacrosse in the fall and Just over two hours from our oldest, Samantha and her hubby, as well as my parents in Tennessee.  Perfectly centered to be more available for all of our family!

Bradley has asked that we make the move as soon as possible so that he can jump in and get involved to finish his junior year, making his senior year much easier to begin.  He’s even been researching school districts on his on.

I’d say that boy of mine has been doing his own praying and has complete faith God will guide him through this as well.

Have a fabulous weekend my friends!

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{Lost & Found}

I have discovered that there is no better way to learn your way around a new area than to get lost.  On Friday I was definitely lost in Spartanburg!  Thankfully I had a full tank of gas and a reliable GPS, so it was a disaster avoided.
But, while lost, I found something as well.
My mid-life crises.
 

{What do you think?}

Audley is laughing, too.

Kitchen {Therapy}

“They tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no….”
 
My name is Jennifer, and I am a dish-a-holic.
Audley says I need a 7-step rehab program.
I think the moving company probably agrees.
Last week as my house was being packed up it took five hours for three guys to pack up four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a den, living room, office, three walk-in closets, a hall closet and dining room.
 It took one guy four hours just to pack my kitchen.
 
The poor guy kept saying “there sure are a lot of dishes in here.”
 
 
Why yes, those boxes are stacked three and four high.
 
And just for the record, the moving truck was unloaded on Friday.  I bought groceries on Monday and cooked supper in my fully unpacked and organized kitchen.

Looking Forward

No matter what is going on, I always try to look for the positive.  As a mom sometimes being positive becomes an act for the sake of the kiddos.

As my house is being packed up today I am extremely sentimental and sad, but truly positive all at the same time.  While I am going to miss so much, it is no act that I am positive in the future plans for our family!  I am even a bit excited.

So what am I looking forward to?
Over the last 14 months I have catered several events and even baked cakes for a profit.  It has all been very exciting.
I have an appointment to tour the Culinary Institute of the Carolinas the week after we move.  I hope  to return to school, to add a culinary degree to my management degree.  I love to cook, I love to plan. I love to entertain.  I love to make people feel special.  Why not put it to use?!
I truly hope that this pans out, but if it doesn’t, I will be OK.
Oh, the possibilities!  I have a plan, but it will be several years in the making.  Being a wife and mother comes first in my life, so I will continue to enjoy my children and lay the foundation for my dreams.
I am looking forward to the convenience of city living.  Ten minutes from Publix, Bi-Lo, & Food Lion, yes, please!!  No more small grocery store featuring sub-par produce and lack of stock.  I’ll also have a Target, Hobby Lobby & TJ Maxx within five miles.  Yes, I am excited!
I am also looking forward to space as we go from an 1800 sq ft home to 3000 sq ft!  I love our little country place that has been the source of so many wonderful memories, but with thwo teenage daughters and a nearly teenage son, the concept of space is so exciting!!
our new home!
Just a glimpse of that space, you say?
The great room looking down from the loft bedroom
Another view of the great room; the carpet is not ripped, but has electrical outlets installed!  No cords spread throughout the room!
Stairs going to the loft
Front entryway
Part of my galley kitchen
As you can see I have a blank slate that I can’t wait to tackle!
While I am so excited about future possibilities, I am mostly looking forward to being with Audley again!  He has been at his new job for over five months now, and I am anxious to live in the same house again as a whole family.  Audley is my strength, support, and encourager.  He is my biggest fan and cheerleader.  He makes me laugh (even at the worst of times), and my heart hurts when he is away.
I will have limited internet for several days as we make our transition, but I will be popping in and out!  I hope you’ll make this adventure with us!